Part 825: Battlemechs are Awesome commercials sponsored by Defiance Industries - Banshee

Okay, I know I promised a lap around the Inner Sphere, but let me explain: last night I had a little bit of a flu bug or something. In the throes of my fever, this came to me in a vision. So without further ado...



[A handsome blond man in a finely tailored suit enters the screen from stage right. He removes his suit jacket and puts on a cardigan.]

I'm glad to see you're back. It's me again, Daniel Namni-Brewer, Vice President of Public Relations for Defiance Industries, and I'd like to have another chat, if you've got a minute.

BattleMechs Are Awesome, brought to you by Defiance Industries.
Defiance Industries: The Biggest. The Baddest.


Today's Episode: BNC-** Banshee.

The Banshee is a 95-ton machine built during the early days of BattleMech warfare. The original model, the BNC-3E was built by Star League Weapons Research, a lineage we at Defiance Industries are proud to honor. Armed with a Magna Hellstar PPC and Imperator AC/5 as its primary weapons, with a Magna Small Laser as a head-mounted emergency backup, the machine's true centerpiece is the massive GM 380-rated fusion engine, at the time the largest engine ever built. Its top speed of 64.8 km/h allows it to close easily on most comparable-weight machines. With it's 15 tons of armor, the Banshee can advance on a target while blowing holes in it with its AC/5 and PPC, until it reaches melee range, where it can use its most effective weapons: punches and kicks.

Punches and kicks, you say? Well, we at Defiance Industries thought that a 95-ton machine relying on them as its best weapons just didn't sound right, and based on pilot response, a lot of you out there agreed. So we started research on a new variant that completely overhauled the entire design...

[Vice President Namni-Brewer withdraws large sunglasses from inside his cardigan, puts them on]

TO THE EXTREME!!!!

Step one, that gigantic engine? Pulled it out, replaced it with a 285, freed up a ton of weight. Reduced your top speed to 54 km/h, but we're building an ASSAULT MECH here, not some 95-ton scout; the Banshee-3S is in the business of kicking ass, and much like the company who built it, business is good.

Step two? Cover this baby with guns. Were you tired of having only two guns to shoot? Well, so were we. So we pulled off those second-rate hackjob Magna PPCs and replaced them with PDVR "Piledriver" Model 11s fresh from Tharkad, and on top of that, added a Defiance Killer Type T Autocannon/10. With that you're gonna be punching three bigass holes in anyone who dares cross your path. Now with guns like that, surely Defiance Industries is satisfied with their rebuild, right?

PSYCH!!!!!

No, to seek out those holes we made, we added not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR new Defiance B3M medium lasers, a pair of Defiance B3S small lasers, and topped it off with a SureShot Mark VI SRM-6 pack. With a secondary armament like this, you can march downfield opening up giant holes in your enemy's armor, and then filling them with laser fire and missiles, cracking their machines open from the inside out.

[Vice President Namni-Brewer places the sunglasses back in his cardigan]

We at Defiance Industries are proud that we've taken this much-maligned design and given it a new lease on life, something our competitors in Marik space failed to do twice, once with their BNC-3M design that made the fatal mistake of retaining the overlarge engine and thus, could only replace the AC/5 with a second PPC, and then again with the BNC-3Q, which replaced the machine's entire armament with a single weapon, an Imperator Zeta-A AC/20, and left it vulnerable to long-range fire.

As always, it's a pleasure to see all of you, and I'm glad I got this chance to talk to you about one of our proudest achievements in BattleMech design. Why, did you know there's manufacturing firms that don't even know how to turn their automated lines off, let alone modify their designs? Lucky thing that's not us, or our customers would miss out on a lot of great designs!

This program brought to you by Defiance Industries. The views expressed here do not reflect the views of our broadcast network or their affiliates.
Defiance Industries: So Hard, People are Scared of Us.



And as a bonus, turns out the BNC-3S is one of the few variants that got its own artwork. So here it is.